Marriage series: Pregnancy

At first, we connected so deep and everything was going well. He would take me out, spend a lot of money on me and we would enjoy as if there was no tomorrow. Life seemed to be moving well for me and at this point i even reassured myself that i had found the love of my life or at least it felt that way for me.

Friends can be deceiving sometimes, and i remember his friends calling me Michael’s only Queen and i somehow fell for this trap. After only three months of knowing him, i ended my three year old relationship with Brian. It was a hard task for me, for i had to explain and convince Brian that it was the right decision for both of us. He even kneeled to ask me for a second chance but i rejected him and even told him that he was wasting his life and failing to man up and take care of my needs. Why would i expect an unemployed graduate to be able to take care of my needs? As weird as it may sound, i had no answer for this, i was actually supposed to be the one to support and understand his vision but i let go.

Our love story became the talk of our workplace and i remember being called at the manager’s office one day. He started by complimenting me for having found a friend so easily at work but he also asked me if i was ready to balance work and love. I reassured him that i would not let anything disturb the productivity of the company and also try to separate work and love. After moments of hesitation and intense advice, he finally let me go, with the parting words, “Be careful and play your cards well, you are like a daughter to me and Michael’s relationship life has been mysterious for us all.”

My heart skipped a bit after this talk but i calmed myself through a reassurance that, a private relationship life is better than a public one. I even went to Michael and updated him of this talk with the manager. He laughed it off and calmed me down by saying that it was just the manager’s way of trying to get more information about him. After a month, he took me to his apartment for the first time, all this while we had only been sticking to outings and him taking me to my place. Since i was in a new town, i had to rent my own apartment and my family had agreed to this as they were in another town. The house looked so decent and let me acknowledge, he had a great sense for furniture. The colours blended so well and he made sure to combine purple, grey and white, i just loved the appearance of this four roomed apartment. When he was done showing me the whole place, he then knelt down and said, “Emmie will you stay with me please, lets share the joys of this apartment together.”

I got moved by the way he had gone out of his way to put things together, pay for this apartment and really know my favorite colour combinations. Without thinking twice, i agreed to his proposal and we decided that we would move my things over the weekend, using one of his three cars. Sweet and charming guy he was and how thoughtful of him to want to stay close to me. Love has a way of blinding a person and most times all you do is agree to the demands of your partner without thinking of the future, this is exactly where I was now.

When i broke the news to my friends Ropa and Nyasha at work, they warned me not to fall too deep, they even tried to make me understand that this may be a trap for him to get me to do all he wanted. After they gave me this advice, i started giving them a cold shoulder for i thought they only wanted to end my relationship with Michael. I thought they had never experienced love like mine since Ropa was just dating a graduate without a job and Nyasha was only dating an Advanced level graduate who was just hustling in town. “They must want Michael to themselves’, I thought to myself and i resented them for this.

The relationship seemed so rosy now that we were staying in the same place and at first, we would exchange duties in performing household chores. He was a real gentleman and even after a very busy day at work, he would set aside time to help me with cooking and doing dishes so as to prepare for the next working day. I started avoiding my family and whenever they mentioned the issue of visiting, i would lie that we have travelled for work or i would just give any silly excuse. On one occasion my mother even had to cry after my brother came to Kadoma and i could not give him a place to sleep, how ruthless!

After three months of staying together, one morning i woke up feeling very nauseous. It felt like i had eaten rotten food the previous night and to make matters worse, it was Michael who had cooked. After vomiting for like five minutes, i teased him that his food was so bad and he had poisoned me, we both laughed at this joke but he had a worried look on his face. This got me worried too, wait a minute, could it be that I was…No, i can’t be!!!

Moral

Are you in a love relationship, if yes, how strong do you think it is?

Given a chance to date a colleague from work, would you agree? If yes, how would you balance it with your work?

Would you cohabitate with your boyfriend who has not paid a dime to your parents?

How supportive are your friends to your relationship life? Do you heed and value their advice or you do not trust them?

If you were in Emmie’s shoes and you were suspecting pregnancy, what would you do next?

As common as cohabitation may have become nowadays, it is not good to normalise it. Normalise the habit of making your parents proud, be it they are present or absent where you stay. Taking care of yourself starts with you and it is not okay to think that happiness and fulfilment will come from a relationship or getting married. It all should begin on you and with you. So take your time to do self reflections, do you depend on your relationship or it depends on you? #FOODFORTHOUGHT

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