Marriage series: Pregnancy

The pain became so unbearable and I could not just watch Michael change his attitude towards me, I also could not bear the beatings that he would extend to me almost everyday. He now blamed me for being careless with my life and falling pregnant, I was the one who was supposed to be careful and not him.

When the day of the abortion finally arrived, I felt relieved and woke up as early as I could so as to board the bus to where I was going. It was in another town and I had to travel back home after this procedure. Michael used work as an excuse for him not to drive me there and he only gave me money for food, besides the payment for the procedure. I could feel my body sweating out of fear as I sat in the bus, most people could have said it was the heat but only I knew what was making me this sweaty. After three hours, the bus finally arrived to our destination.

His uncle was waiting for me at the busstop and he seemed an even better gentleman than what Michael was acting towards me now. We went to his surgery and it looked well established, he worked with two other nurses. As soon as we arrived, the two ladies took me to the dressing room and helped change into the patients garment and they also asked to inject me so that I would get ready for the procedure, it was an anaesthetic injection.

A few minutes after the injection, I started feeling a little drowsy but I still remained conscious. The doctor came with some pills and an injection that were to be injected in my private parts. Thirty minutes later, I started feeling an uneasiness in my stomach and the nurses explained to me that my muscles were loosening so as to make the procedure an easy one. His uncle asked me if I had eaten anything and I said no and he volunteered to go and get me food as I had travelled a long distance. I had no appetite but I forced myself to eat as someone had made an effort plus I really needed to divert the pain and uneasiness I was feeling now.

After eating a little from the rice and chicken, I started feeling like vomiting and urinating at the same time. The nurses told me that it was so normal and I was not supposed to rush to the toilet but it was now time for me to lie down and have the procedure done on me. I agreed and went to lie down on the bed, even though the uneasiness continued. When the doctor came in, he had a lot of metal things with him and this time he was dressed in a way doctors dress when going for surgery.

I felt something cold get inside my vagina and this made me even more scared. My muscles tensed and the doctor had to go through a lot of explanation for me to finally relax and let him carry out the procedure. I heard something pop and when I peeped through the cloth covering me, I saw blood coming out from me and it was like the developing baby had been killed. Tears started flowing on my cheeks involuntarily and I felt hurt for having agreed to all this. He cleaned the mess, with the help of his nurses and he asked me to rise and go to the wash room. The nurses assisted me and I managed to wash myself and wear double pads since I was going to travel back home. His uncle even insisted that I stay in as his patient for admission but I was persistent to leave. Before I left, he sat down with me and asked me not to leave his nephew for his nephew loved me but had other personal problems overwhelming him now.

What personal problems was he going through that he could not sacrifice to just keep one child? This made me more worried and even though I promised his uncle, I knew I was going to leave him as soon as I arrived home. He was never considerate of my feelings and opinion regarding this issue and hence I was in this all alone. I felt used and at this point I started recalling my manager’s words and those of my friends who had warned me to be careful with thus guy. When you fall deeply in love, even the opinion of those who care does not matter at all. I felt my tears flow as I sat there on my seat in the private car I had boarded but I did not bother to wipe them.

I could sense the people around me beginning to feel pity for me but I did not bother for I was hurting deep inside. All I wanted was to reach home and tell him it was over. I had to stand up for myself at this point, I really needed my life back. This was not going to be an easy task but I had rehearsed it all the way as I cried and I knew I would make it. My other resolution was to make sure to go and ask for forgiveness from my family and make amends for the time I had lost without them. This was going to be a new beginning for me!!!

MORAL

Would you give in to the pressure of having an abortion as a woman?

Was Michael’s uncle right in agreeing to assist with the abortion?

How often have you made decision that you have ended up regretting?

Do you include your friends in your personal issues or you have personal fears?

Unlike Emmie, it is always important to listen to the advice we are given by those people who care for us. Sometimes it is always important to look at an issue from both sides because if you are one sided, you may fall in a pit of  sand and then fail to get out of it. It is always important to get personal security first and not rely on your partner to give you security for when you are personally secure, you can manage your own decisions and you stand by your words.

Life is too short to waste it making the wrong decisions and piling up pain, take charge and be your own security keeper.

How is your relationship with your family? Was it broken because of the relationship you are in right now? Before you think of anything else, make amends with your family because when everyone else is gone from your life, your family still remains and the saying blood is thicker than water still remains very true. Take care of yourself and take care of your family, always make sure to communicate with them for communication is key.

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