The painful beginning: Motherhood series.

On one cold morning, my mother woke up with a sad face and she looked like she had been up all night and crying. I was just five years old so i did not know much to ask than to just try and convince her to tell me if she was okay. She never answered me and i understood her for i was still young for sure. I watched her cry as she waited for my Dad to arrive, he had not slept at home.

Finally he arrived but he looked so drunk and his clothes were very dirty. He tried to apologise to my mother but she interjected for she had had enough of this treatment. When she tried to speak up, he slapped her and started removing his belt to beat her as usual. What had i done to deserve such a family? I kept asking myself this question and before i could get an answer to it, i saw my mother rush inside and in a flash return with her bag.

Her mind was made up, she was going to leave him and as punishment for him, she also opted to leave me too. I started crying, had i become a reject even for my own mother? Was i the same with my father? And wait a minute, so i am the one who was now supposed to handle all the beating and sleeping alone at home? All these questions raced in my mind and i even begged my mother to go with her but she refused.

There was no way i was going to force her, her mind was already made up so i ran inside the house and hid myself in the corner of the bed. I did not want my father to end up hitting me instead, so i made sure to be as quiet as possible. In no time, he came inside the bedroom and immediately slept like a baby. He began to snore loudly that my ears hurt and i ran out of the room.

I had no clue of how to cook so i went to our neighbour’s house, she gave me food and reassured me that mommy was going to come back. I went back home with a big smile on my face for i trusted our neighbor and she even told me to come back whenever i needed food. My father slept for most part of the day and when he finally woke up, he started shouting for food. I ran to remind him that mom had left and the moment he heard these words, he extended a slap to me and i hit my head on the wall and fainted.

I only remember waking up on the bed and he was sitted there looking at me. He seemed to have reformed now and just then i had a flashback of my sleep, i had felt like a hand was touching my private parts but maybe it was just the faint. He went to the shops and bought groceries, this he had never done when my mother was around but I still felt happy he had done something for me. My father cooked supper and made sure i ate and went to bed.

Around midnight, i felt a hand on my mouth while another touched my pant. I was scared and i really wanted my mother back but she would never hear me now. My father was on top of me and he was trying to force himself on me. He ruthlessly rapped me and what hurt the most was that he was calling my mother’s name as he did it. I cried till i stopped, for noone could hear my screaming as he covered my mouth. He had found a woman in me and yet i was still an infant…

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